Holy Survivor!
by Caliam Baggins Took
Summary: What happens when you put charcters from my two fave movies, Dogma and Blow Dry, into Survivor 2:The Australian Outback? I don't know yest but it's coming to me... Please R+R!


Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from Dogma or Blow Dry. Got it? GOOD! Oh and I don't own survivor...  
  
Note: If this sucks and the characters don't act any like they did in the movie, don't come and try and find me and kill me. I'm a 13 year-old who is very bored and at home with a demonic looking doll staring at me... So you can kinda see why I'm writing this.  
  
Chapter 1: day one  
  
Jeff: Hello, I'm Jeff Probst and welcome to Survivor. This is the second in the series but this time we are in the Australian Outback. Well, on with the show then!  
  
*Survivor music plays and then we see Jeff again*  
  
Jeff: OK, and again I'm Jeff Probst. It's time to introduce our tribes and their members, first is the Hingching(word my little sisters made up, part of their secret language...) tribe which contains:  
  
Jay  
Silent Bob  
Bethany  
Metatron  
Serendipity  
Rufus  
Bartleby   
Loki  
  
Wait a second, do these people have last names? God this show is going to freaking crap.  
  
  
*Jeff notices the camera is still on so he looks up and smiles*  
  
Jeff: And on our second tribe, Kukamunga, is:  
  
Phil Allen  
Shelly Allen  
Sandra  
Brian Allen  
Zoe Allen(I made her up to add up to the last tribe)  
Christina Robertson  
Ray Robertson  
Louis  
And again I must say where are some of these people last names I mean common is this tuning into a music business thing or what?  
  
*Again Jeff looks at the camera still being on and he smiles.*  
  
Jeff: Okay well, will everyone in the tribes' step forward.  
  
*Everyone steps forward and we can already see that this show is going to be well, scary.*  
  
Zoe: Uh, mister Probst sir can I ask you a question? *Zoe narrows her eyes as if she will kill anyone at the next moment*  
  
Jeff: And what is that, Zoe? *Jeff sounded worried and Zoe smiled evilly*  
  
Zoe: Where are all the bathrooms?  
  
Jeff: Uh, There are no bathrooms here, only the holes in the ground by your camps.*Jeff said and looked worried like he might give something away.*  
  
Zoe: Yeah, sure well thanks for the shampoo anyway... I have another question.  
  
Jeff: What is it Zoe, we have to start the show! *Jeff said threw clinched teeth*  
  
Zoe: Why is that guy in a straight jacket? *Zoe pointed at Bartleby and started laughing*   
  
Jeff: Because he went crazy a while ago and we have to keep him in that so he won't kill anybody. *Bartleby growls at Jeff so he shuts up and looks away*  
  
Jeff: Well, Survivors it's off to the campsites! The first tribe to their designated campsite wins a grain of rice! Survivors ready, GO!  
  
*Everyone stands there looking confused and Jeff rolls his eyes*  
  
Jeff: Fine you will win a can of beer?  
  
Phil: What good is a can of beer? 8, I mean 7 people can't share _one_ can of beer! I especially won't share it with him. *Phil points at Ray and narrows his eyes*  
  
Jeff: Fine, fine. a six-pack of beer. *a few grumbles from the survivors can be heard but Jeff goes on.* Survivors ready, GO!  
  
*All the survivors run for their campsites at top speed but the Hingching tribe was the winner*  
  
Sandra: HEY! That's not fair there are angels on that team they can cheat! All we are is hairstylists!  
  
Jeff: You snooze you loose.  
  
*Sandra sticks her tongue out at him and walks back over to her campsite*  
  
Brian: All right, well the first thing we have to do is build a tent or a shelter o' some kind.  
  
Ray: Hey who put you in charge o' this tribe.  
  
Brian: No one...  
  
Ray: See, well I say we elect a leader. Any nominations?  
  
Zoe: I nominate my dad.  
  
Shelly and Sandra: me too.  
  
Brain. I also.  
  
Phil: me three. I've already won so HA! This gets back at you for cheating at all those hair championships!  
  
Ray: Fine...  
  
*The Kukamunga tribe goes on to build a grand little shelter made out of the British flag blanket that Louis brought...*  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The Hingching campsite:  
  
Loki: I just don't see why we need a shelter!   
  
Bethany: Well, if you want to stay out in the heat without shade then you don't have to help us build this. You can go sit with Bartleby, or you can go savagely kill a poor pig for all I care, just do something that makes you look like your busy!  
  
*Loki walks over to where Bartleby is sitting under a small tree and sits down*  
  
Loki: They just don't understand us, B. Maybe I should let you outta that straight jacket and you can show em' a thing or two.  
  
Bartleby: Nah, I'm beginning to like this thing. It makes me look menacing.  
  
Loki: Okay, whatever you say...  
  
*The camera moves over to where the shelter is being built and we only see Bethany and Serendipity are building it. Jay and Silent Bob are off getting high, Rufus is with them and Metatron is sitting under a tree drinking tequila that he snuck in.*  
  
Serendipity: Aren't any of you lazy ass guy's gonna help us?  
  
Jay: Nah, to busy getting high...  
  
Serendipity: Metatron, what about you?  
  
Metatron: No...maybe...later.  
  
Serendipity: FINE, we'll do it ourselves!  
  
*2 hours later Serendipity and Bethany have finally finished and all teh survivors are ready to go to sleep...*  
  
***~~~***~~~***~~~***~~~***~~~***~~~***~~~***~~~***  
  
Authors note: Yeah that sucked, but it'll get better I promise!  



End file.
